Have you ever felt like you’re ready for a relationship but you’re not just meeting the right people for you? It could be that you’re searching in the wrong places. There could probably be something you’re not doing right, like going out with your friends frequently.
Meeting the right person requires planning, and effort in trying out new things.
Below are some indications that you’re searching in the wrong places:
- You are not a planner
Safran says “one of the ways to tell one is looking in the wrong places is if they don’t have well-thought plans”. “Everything they do is the last minute, going places with friends but no strategy at all”.
In case you’re looking to meet new people, you need to plan what your action points are for a major holiday or weekend.
If you always end up with last-minute actions, you will end up meeting last-minute people.
- You always end up in one-off events
Going to bars, weddings, charity events to meet people, it’s probably the wrong way of doing it. You will require more than just a few hours to find somebody that you rhyme with.
According to Safran, most of the people you meet after college in bars do have the same goals as you. Bars are wrong since most people there are just after fun and not relationships.
A class or a meetup group is much better as you meet the same people frequently.
Another thing to note is that as you go to these events, chose the ones that will expose you to the kind of people you want to meet.
- You anticipate the instant outcome
Most people quit when they don’t see instant pay off. You need to understand that meeting people is just like entry-level jobs, it might take your time to discover your niche to find things more specific.
Don’t be discouraged when you join some of these groups and don’t find a date right away.
Make it a personal goal to expand your social circle. This will increase your chances of meeting new people.
Also be open to doing things that will earn you future invitations to other events, according to Safran.
- You keep sticking around the same joints
If you’re always at your local joint and not expanding your circle, how can you ever meet new people?
Be open-minded and move six or seven blocks. Staying at one joint limits your circle.
Safran further states that the person in front of you is not always the best person to date.
If you want to meet someone special you have to put yourself out there, and you will meet someone new.